Finding The Right Mentor

If you wanted to learn how to make your grandmother's famous blueberry jam, you would ask her for help. The same thing applies to your career. If you need help learning a new skill, find someone who has mastered the skill and ask them if they would be willing to mentor you.

Mentoring is a partnership. As a mentee, it's not enough to simply show up and wait for your mentor to tell you what to do. You have to put in the work. This includes ensuring there is clear and ongoing communication along the way.

Here are 7 steps to help you find and partner with a mentor.

Take an honest look at your skillset.

Make a list of your skills and identify what areas you need assistance with. For instance, if you lack good presentation skills, you might want advice on how to clearly deliver your message. Be sure to assess your skills honestly so you can define effective goals.

Clearly define your goals.

If you don't know what your goals are, how can your mentor help you? Begin by clearly articulating what you want to achieve, and by what date. Instead of saying "I want to be a manager", consider "I want to be the Advertising department manager by the end of next year." Goals are more likely to be achieved when they are clearly defined and specific.

Choose your mentor carefully.

 Before you select a mentor, ask yourself these questions:

• Does this person share information willingly?

• Does this person model behavior I want to emulate?

• Is this person trusted and respected by their peers?

• Does this person have a good professional network?

• How much support do I need?

• Could I limit my focus to a narrow topic to reduce the mentor's time commitment?

• Do I need more than one mentor?

• What unique point of view could this person offer me?

Next, make a list of possible mentors, stack rank them, and reach out to your first choice. If your first choice is unable or unwilling to mentor you, do not be discouraged. Just keep going down the list until you identify someone who can help. If you run out of names, create a new list and start again.

Use checkpoints to track progress.

During your initial meeting, confirm your next checkpoint and discuss how often you'll meet. Don't be afraid to ask for as much time as you need, but be prepared that your mentor's schedule may only allow for a fraction of what you request.

At each checkpoint, discuss how you incorporated the suggestions your mentor provided during your last discussion. This is your opportunity to show you are listening and taking action.

Be open to feedback.

You must be willing to listen, accept constructive criticism, and follow through. This does not mean you have to blindly follow your mentor's advice. If you have concerns about a plan of action, voice them and discuss alternate approaches.

Set boundaries to avoid confusion.

If you want your discussions to remain confidential, let your mentor know. This is especially important when you work together. You don't want to learn your mentor shared something you wanted to remain private. Also, while you can compartmentalize your personal and professional lives, one often impacts the other. Having a frank discussion about your boundaries will avoid confusion and make it clear which topics are off limits.

Evaluate your relationship.

At least once a year, evaluate your mentor/mentee relationship. Has your mentor's advice helped you get closer to achieving your goal? Have you reviewed your initial goals and confirmed they still make sense? Are you communicating regularly (e.g. monthly, quarterly, etc.)?

If your mentor/mentee relationship is not working, determine if you want to continue it. If you do not want to continue, thank your mentor for their help and look for someone else. If you do want to continue, tell your mentor what's not working and partner to fix it.